SCOTLAND PHASE 1

So for the past four months, my life has been.. fast paced. Essentially.
I finished my Obstetrics/Gynae and Paediatrics exams, officially entered my final year of med school (!), came home to Malaysia for (phase one) of my summer break- which consists of a 3 week hospital placement under Psychiatry, started a project I am completely siked about, and now on to phase two of my summer adventure: Scotland!!

Now Scotland has been a huge part of my summer plans. for the following reasons:
1. I've never been to this part of the UK
2. I've always wanted to visit Glasgow and Edinburgh
3. I enjoyed my Plastics Surgery rotation and I wanted more; so I applied for it and got a placement with a Plastics consultant in Glasgow Royal Infirmary!!
4. It works out well given phase 3 of my summer plans: *****drumroll****
 READING FESTIVAL! *well this would've happened regardless.. but still hahaha

I've been in Glasgow now for almost a week, and it's been really chill. Which is exactly what I needed. Electives have been stress free- minus the 7 am wake up calls in the morning but I'm happy enough! I get to do what I want and I've never taken so many OOTDs in a long time!
These are little updates on our little tour trips over the weekend.





"Loch Lomond"



*The Highlands


*oh you know, just holding my camera up, hoping to casually catch the Loch Ness monster swimming about in this famous Loch (Scottish gaelic for lake)






So that's all for now, we've planned an exciting trip to Lake District this weekend I need to figure out how I'm gonna pack for a 3 day camping trip.
x
M

HARD TIMES

I cannot express my love enough for this band. Getting knocked on the ground, the uncertainty of life itself, and the very idea of loosing faith and self trust is not a foreign feeling for me. You start doubting if you're on the right lane, if life is passing you by, or if things get too overwhelming you just want to hide in a hole on the ground.
I'm on my way of believing that things have a way of turning out okay. Even when you're unsure of yourself and how you got this far. Or even if you've gotten far at all.
But as long as you're trying, things will be okay.

NEW FINDS

SO, I'm procrastinating with work a little, but might as well channel it to writing. Or introducing something good (?) to the world. I am not a massive fan of the Lumineers, partly because when the song Hey Ho came out, I was in Malaysia and it was played endlessly on the radio, in malls, in the toilet in malls, remixed instrumentally in some cubicles in the toilet in malls, it was everywhere basically. So it became one of those things where the idea of the Lumineers just.. nauseated me. Which isn't fair because I hardly gave them a chance. drama

But my dear friends, I just recently discovered their music video for 'Sleep on the Floor' and my goodness me, it was art. I was so moved, touched everywhere, my God so much feels guys. *hyperventilates*
 If you have seen it, which I am sure most of you have, I apologise for being late to the club. You can skip this part then. haha.
So for those of you who have not, in summary, it is a true (don't quote me on this one, I gathered it from one of the YT comments. super reliable I know) love story, where this guy asks his lover to run away with him to sort of "escape this town" on the day of her father's funeral.  Everything was beautifully shot, they left in the audio of the conversations, laughs, and background noise, which I found beautiful. And this is where it gets interesting. 3 music videos form a storyline.
After you watch Sleep on the Floor, you need to watch 'Angela', and then Cleopatra. It is of course open to interpretation, but it is of relevance to one another and forms a short story together. I was left feeling super emotional by the end of it and it kept me thinking.. a lot.
About everything, well life in general and how whatever you choose to do, leaves a significant mark. Amazing.






My second find is due to some random browsing on Spotify and under the concerts list, lo and behold, I discover that JoJo is performing in Dublin this Sunday! I can hear my teenage self scream with disappointment to my utter ignorance of SUCH AN EVENT. I never knew until today! My entire awkward pubertal phase circulated around her songs and well, I was kind of disappointed that tickets are out of reach at this point. obviously.
But anyways I listened to some of her new stuff, and they're not too bad. Quite good actually, all grown up, eyebrow piercing and everything. Adore it. Wish I could've gone for her show but oh well, maybe next time Jo.



Have a good week ahead guys
MM

MY CURRENT SKINCARE ROUTINE

My skin has gone through quite the roller coaster ride these past few years.
Just a brief little background, I have combination skin, more on the oily side on me T-zone areas, especially on my forehead like it can get really shiny mid day.
I have never had bad skin during my teenage years, I've been blessed with minimal spots all the way through high school, and good 'ol OXY 5 would always do the trick. But when I started my studies abroad in Ireland, my skin obviously needed extra care due to the lack of humidity, and the amount of stress and chocolate I started piling up. I also started being experimental with makeup and because I did not know how to properly take care of my skin, well, it started acting up.

Fast forward through lots of dermatologist visits, loads and I mean loads of skin care experimenting, I am now happy (3 years later lol) with my current regime and touch wood, my skin is finally a lot calmer. I am nowhere near having perfect flawless skin, infact I still have obvious flaws. But I am a lot happier with how it is.

Bare in mind, I was on antibiotics for a good few months, with dietary modifications too before my skin calmed down so if you suffer from severe acne, I would suggest going to a good derm. Would save you time and money in the long run. (Deep scars are permanent guys, no matter what they tell you)
And just a slight disclaimer (one you would see in all skincare routine vids/posts), this is what works for me and everyone has different skin (obvsly) so you just have to find what works for you. I just want to share my own experience and what I find useful for me, hopefully it would make a good read. Because I sure do love me a good skincare read!

STEP 1,2&3: Cleanse + Exfoliate

So, I was browsing at Bobbi Brown (quite the tongue twister innit) 2 years back and I was looking at their skin care line. The lady working there asked about my regime and she was shocked to hear that I do not pre-cleanse. K back then I never knew there even was such a thing. That was when she introduced me to Cleansing Oil! I began using it for a while and I thought it was the best thing ever! BB's cleansing oil has sunflower oil in it which soothed my skin a lot, it didn't strip off my skin when taking off my makeup.
Fast forward a few months, I found out that Koreans double cleanse using oils too! So I started getting really into korean skincare however some of the products did break me out. But I learnt their 10 step skincare routine and their little massaging tips and tricks, and incorporated them into my own using the products that work for me.



1. Origins' A Perfect World Antioxidant Cleanser with White Tea
2. Origins' Never a Dull Moment - skin brightening polisher with fruit extracts
3. Origins' Clear Energy Gentle Cleansing Oil

I would start off with number 3 (I skip this oil in the morning- only at night), regardless of whether or not I have makeup on, then number 1 , and then number 2.  I exfoliate twice a week and this scrub is AMAZING. I've never used a mechanical exfoliator I loved more. Whenever I get a pimple, I would use this and the little critter would shrink the next day or two. Ace. (Will go into chemical exfoliating in a bit)
Also learnt from the Koreans, I use a Carbon Konjac sponge with my cleanser (once a day) and my skin would feel smooth AF. You can get them from Face Shop or Sephora. I usually bring loads back to Ireland because I have no idea where to get them here!
Oh another great tip I found is to finish washing your face using cool water to close the pores before the other steps. During cleansing, it's better to use warm/ room temp water to open the pores and get all the gunk out.

STEP 4: Essence/Toner



The first step after washing your face is always a toner and essence. Personally I prefer to use either one- not both. My favourite toner of all time is the Origins' treatment lotion with White tea (it's in the same range as the cleanser). Absolutely adore it.
But I was curious to try this cult fave - Missha's Time Revolution Essence- (ordered from a friend who visited Korea) and I have been using it for a good few months now. To be honest I have not seen any drastic changes to my skin because of it but no bad reactions so far, so we'll give it a few more months.
The sprayer thingy in the picture is just how I like to "apply" my toner/ essence just because I love the feeling. and its easier than using a cotton square- this I use if I had a full face of makeup before.

STEP 5: Spot management



My dermatologist recommended me these two creams to apply every other day on troubled/acne prone areas. Duac is my holy grail (it contains Clindamycin and 5% Benzoyl Peroxide). Differin is a form of retinoid so I find it helps with controlling hyper pigmentation but that's it- I rarely use it now.
I also still use my trusty OXY5 on larger spots.

STEP 6: Serums



1. OST's Pure Vitamin C20 Serum (Night)
2. Estee Lauder's Idealist - Pore Minimising Skin Refinisher (Day)
3. Kiehl's Daily Reviving Concentrate (Day)
4. Kiehl's Midnight Recovery Concentrate (Night)

These are my favourite serums ever. Well I'm still on the fence about  #2 because it does mattify my skin a little which is weird but make up does go great over it- I tend to not use a primer when I use this.
#1 is perfection! It's a chemical exfoliant due to the AHA/ ascorbic acid being an ingredient so it's great for reducing hyper pigmentation/ scarring. I know they've come up with a newer version of it- C21.5 but I have yet to try it. Leave a comment if you have! For night time I either use this or #4.
#3 makes my skin feel super lush! I love how my makeup glides over my skin and how it looks glowy and soft. HG
I tend to alternate just because I want the benefits of all of em lol
So:
Daytime:  2 or 3
Night time: 1 or 4

STEP 7: Moisturiser


1. Algenist's Complete Eye Renewal Balm (Night)
2. Clinique's All About Eyes cream (Day)
3. Origins' Three Part Harmony moisturiser (Day)
4. Bio-essence's Hydra Triaction Sleeping Beauty Mask (Night)
5. Origins' Drink Up- Intensive Overnight Mask (Night)

The Clinique eye cream is more for morning puffiness and dark circles which is why I use it in the day and the Algenist one is for dry eyes. The skin around my eye area is really sensitive especially the lids, and since I use Benzoyl Peroxide, I need that extra moisture.
For night time I enjoy me a good sleeping mask and #4 is packed with hyaluronic acid which is a MIRACLE INGREDIENT especially for people suffering from winter dryness (or just general dry skin hehe)

STEP 8: Masks



This step actually comes right after toner, and you can moisturise after masking. Or not, it depends on how you feel. I would moisturise just because I'm extra.
So these are some of my favourite ones. Although one worth mentioning (which I have sadly ran out of) is Bio-essence's Snail Secretion Repair Mask. (My go-to whenever I get a stubborn spot that needs some serious calming down).

STEP 9 & 10: SPF and Mist



1. Kiehl's Ultra Light Daily UV Defense SPF 50++
2. Estee Lauder's DayWear Antioxidant BB Cream SPF 35 (I believe this isn't sold in Malaysia)
3. Innisfree's Green Tea Mineral Mist

I'm sure we all know the utmost importance of SPF and I cannot stress this enough to all my girlfriends, even my boyfriend.
Extra tips: apply on your neck and onto your lips too! and even when it's cloudy.
This BB cream (#2) is mentioned here because it is a part of my skin care sort of because of all the good ingredients in it i.e. antioxidants. And I use it every single day so.

This particular one makes my skin look so good, and dewy and moisturised I absolutely adore it. And it matches my skin tone like a dream- unlike a lot of bb creams out there. (especially you, moonshot)
I use #3 a lot. It gives me that boost of moisture I need and instantly refreshens. I use it as a finishing spray over makeup too, although I'm not sure if it actually prolongs the wear of makeup. Doubt it but it does give it that (again) dewy look we so crave for these days. #trend

_______________________________

So that's basically my skincare routine, here are some extra tips I've learnt along the way
1. Never skip fresh greens every single day- trust me, I started juicing and my skin thanked me for it. Incorporate carotenoid-rich veggies like kale (in Malaysia i used baby kailan), and spinach into your sandwiches, or smoothies. And fruits like blueberries (antiinflammatory), mangoes, and pineapples (Vit C)
2. Drink a minimum of 2L of water per day
3. Wash your face before bed and as soon as you get up
4. Sweat it out and space out sugary things. Dark chocolate is great for you btw 
5. If a product breaks you out the following day, stop. using. it. If it doesn't break you out, give it time to work. Don't stop just because your scars are not fading within a week.
6. If something works, stick to it
7. Wash makeup brushes every week guys.
8. Use a separate small towel for your face and change it every 3-4 days
9. Eat your vitamins- C, A & E
10. Go to a good derm if you are not happy with your skin. Trust me, it costs more money trying out different things that just do not work.

Okay that's it for now! Hope this was enjoyable hehe

Love,
MM

SaveSave

HEALTHY MALAY MEALS #1

The new wave of health awareness trends have hit our generation and those preceding us of course, and I could not be happier. I love that people are so into being healthy, eating good clean food, learning and incorporating good eating habits, garnishing meals with beautiful greens and seeds and all that jazz. Love it. I for one, love that it's no longer a chore to eat your fruits and greens and it's becoming more of a, well trend. For example, if that mega fit girl's eating a pretty smoothie bowl, you sure as heck will see me googling some smoothie bowl how-tos. So in summary, healthy is the new ombre hair. But better.

But I do agree that it can be pricey to want to follow health or beauty gurus' eating habits, I mean I for one don't think I'm able to afford eating avocados, and salmon fillets every single day. So I get the common struggle of trying to eat healthy and at the same time work with what you've got. i.e. money and time.

I have been away from home for a good few months now, and I find myself missing Malaysia a lot more than usual. I want Malaysian food or to be more exact, Malay food so bad but the common idea is that Malaysian food means oily, fatty, sugary food. But is it really? 

I have consulted a team of specialists, and lifetime researchers i.e. my mother and my aunts with the help of Facebook posts to come up with some easy Malay meals you could make yourself. I will spread out the meal posts 

I've put stars ** above some ingredients you can bring back with you from Malaysia-  that has a century's worth of expiration date and of  course, if you ARE lucky enough to be in Malaysia, you will have access to all the beautiful ingredients and i mean you especially, daun kesom. 

Obvious disclaimer: I am in no way a good cook whatsoever, so this post is just for fun and to maybe help out or give some sort of inspo(?) to all you penniless students I can relate so very much to.

NUMBER 1: IKAN REBUS MASAK ASAM (Cooks for 4)

Ingredients:

To be blended:

- Belacan**(half an inch)

- Red onion (half a bulb)

- garlic (2 cloves)

- turmeric powder (1/2 teaspoon)- now you could use a live one which is better for you but I don't know how accessible this is in Tesco so yes

- Dried chillis** (7-8 pieces)

To be thrown in:

- Fish of your choice (as many as you like really, I personally chose Mackerel because for sure you can find it anywhere )

- Tomatoes/ ladyfingers aka bendi/ large chunks of cucumber

- Assam keping**- this is the game changer, and what makes it asam (as a sub, you could squeeze in lime/lemon instead of course)

- salt to taste

Instructions:

1. Firstly bring water in your pot to boil

2. Pour in the blended ingredients into your pot

3. Now proceed with the ones to be thrown into the boiling pot, like your boyfriend's ex

AND YOU'RE DONE! no oil, no fuss, literally takes 10 minutes 

Serve with some brown rice, and if you wanna amp it up a bit, make yourself some stir fry.

ps: Sorry for the lack of photos, I drafted this post months back and I lost the pictures.
Happy cooking!

MM

FINALLY

My new years resolutions. Finally
This is a post I've been dreading but is infact what I've typed out entirely on my flight back from Malaysia to Dublin. It is completely raw, unfiltered and completely honest. I've let out some of my biggest insecurities in hopes of starting out a better, 2016 me. So here goes.

1. Zero makeup
One of the most wanted things in the world is natural beauty. What we can't have (naturally), is what  we try, at least to get as close to as we can. Why else would some of the most successful fields in the world be beauty/ skincare related? And why else would soo many people invest thousands and thousands on just makeup and skincare? This is not even considering the tens of thousands spent on surgical procedures.
I for myself have the same belief. ( well not on surgical procedures, but you get the idea.) but after years of being a full on makeup enthusiast, and as much as I am still very passionate about it, it has infact taken its toll on the state of my skin, and self esteem. I tried out a number of different products thinking my skin was resilient enough to endure all of it. I had tolerable skin in high school (except for occasional bumps) and all the way through college. Unfortunately now (when im abroad, exposed to harsher, dryer conditions and the gunk ive bombarded my skin with) do I only realise how delicate my skin actually is. Because of the little bumps I've been getting, I've grown more reliant on makeup to cover my imperfections when instead, it worsened everything. Even when it's healed, I find myself reaching for my Perfection Lumiere bottle every time. This is okay if all I do is "brunch with my girls from time to time" or "take a day trip down to London over the weekend" or if my classes end at 12 so I could just wash up and have nothing else on for the day. This isnt the case for me. I have full days and I loove being outside. I just cant stay in all day.  I have daily 9-5s, hospital visits till late evening, workshops, seminars and by the time I reach home.. pitch dark.
I wanna be able to go for class bare faced except for some gloss and mascara, and go for a swim after without having to carry my cleansing oil to wash off the foundation, or go on a 4 days 3 nights hiking trip with my friends without these petty things in mind, or not having to worry about the gunk on my face when I have my 9-5s every single day.
This year, i want my insecurities to go away. I want to treat my skin and get it to as best of a state as it could possibly get and be done with relying on foundation and concealer. Obviously once in a while, like cute dinners or events, now that's a different case. I would never forego my love for blending eyeshadows for the perfect smokey eye, and contouring my cheeks for killer cheek bones and highlighting my cheeks to cheat that natural glow. I will forever find makeup a form of art. But I just want to love myself and my skin more. In its natural, bare, imperfect state.

2. Be more like Monica
I do not at all see myself as the organised type. Frankly I'm the exact opposite. I push things to the very last minute, I don't plan my semesters well and I find myself running to my coursemates asking questions and feeling behind most of the time. I've suffered from serious anxiety issues, ever since my first year of medschool and I have to admit; is all because of poor TIME management. I do this all the time. I procrastinate, then I get anxious because I've got to cover a semester's worth of work within a month's time.
So I hereby VOW to be as alphabetically-ordered-colour-coordinated-date-specific kind of organised - like Monica from Friends. Remember how she made files and folders for Chandler's prospective job options mid Season 9? Yes
Be as over as Monica.


 3. Slay my clinicals
I have not been doing as well as I'd hoped for for my 1st, 2nd and start of 3rd year. Nothing close to 4 flats ever. But over the winter holidays I have decided on a number of things I'm truly passionate about, and a tentative career/ life plan. I obviously dont have A-Z figured out for myself but I do know for sure that I have a definitive idea of where I wanna be at the age of 30. This involves slaying my clinicals first. With ace time management, ace amount of sleep, ace motivation, I know I can do this. Ok honesty hour: i've always had 2 big dreams.i've always wanted to do fashion for as long as i can remember. I wanted to start my own line but at the same time I want to practice medicine. They're two big huge opposite dreams and at the age of 17, I chose one over the other. Eversince then i cant help but feel like im missing out on the other and that ill never get to live it. But recently i've read about how the world isnt black and white anymore and there isnt a generic career anymore. You can earn money doing practically anything, heck Youtuber is a full-time job now! So yea. I'm done with comparing my life with others and how im missing out.
"On social media you compare your lives with only a snippet of other peoples' lives. Not the full story"
 I'm so so blessed. I may not feel this way 24 hours in a day and I have my moments of insecurities and doubts.
but I wouldn't change a thing- everything I've done leading up to this point and I am exactly where I want to be.

4. Myself over others
I feel like one of my biggest flaw is that I tend to stall my life for my friend or anyone else thats special. As much as I will still love my friends, i think I'm going to start loving myself a heck of a lot more. I'm gonna Kanye the hell out of myself. I can't keep waiting up late for FaceTime calls anymore. I cant bend over backwards neglecting my own needs over others' anymore. I have got to be selfish and I will be selfish. Because in the end of the day, I'm the one sitting for that exam I didn't prepare enough for, and I'm the one that's late for my 8 am.
So 2k16, I wont be afraid to put myself above everything and everyone else no matter who you are to me.

4. One post per week
 On the lighter side of things, I have decided to turn this blog into not only about my personal posts but also more towards clothes! Well, still personal in that sense, but more in a way that could hopefully help give outfit inspos!(not saying I would be of any inspiration to anybody, but I enjoy it so why the hell not).
 Maybe to give you some life hacks, how-tos like cutting up an old turtle neck that's awkwardly long into a stellar cropped knit, and lotsa other things I sometimes do to my clothes just because.
And this will be my out let. Not TV series or movies anymore. Obviously, I am nowhere near as knowledgable when it comes to this extremely WIDE subject (i.e. fashion) BUT I have decided to share my love for thrifting, be more experimental with my clothes, be more active on DePop Market ( Carousell equivalent but in Europe), share with you some of my fav thrift stores, brands, and to be more active in documenting what I wear basically.(With my busy schedule, I will try at least.
I want to be able to do both things that I love, so why not start with this right?

4. Eat clean
This is in relation to having good skin obviously but far and foremost, I want to have a healthy body. Healthy body, healthy mind. Also healthy body, hot body, happy days. I want the kind of body I'm proud of . The kind i know future me will thank me for.
My grandma died of kidney failure last year and I have never gone through a worst period of time in my whole life. Because of this, it's all the more reason for me to start now with taking care of my health. I wanna eat more fresh uncooked greens, be aware of the calories and contents of the food I put into my system, drink 3Ls of water daily, never skip a meal, and lastly, although this is a sensitive subject to a lot of people and since I've promised myself to be completely honest in this post, I will touch on the subject because why the heck not. I promise to work towards eating only halal meat. MIND YOU I do not take pork ever. It's just that from time to time i do find myself going for non halal chicken and stuff (because of convenience esp when i travel) so this year I'd like to try at least, to not consume non halal meat. If it's is completely out of my way, then it could be another excuse for me to try out those cool vegan/vegetarian recipes I've bookmarked since forever. (Especially Izy Hossack's Apricot Quesadillas)

And finally,
5. Be closer to God
My family and I have gone through some of the biggest loop holes this year and we find ourselves feeling helpless most of the time. I do realise that no matter how far you've come, or how confident you are with your actions and efforts, sometimes you need God for that little sense of assurance. Assurance that everything is going to be okay even when at the exact moment of complete helplessness, it really isnt. I was and still am thousands and thousands of miles away from the people I love, and what happened to my grandma a couple months ago, was just reality's way of smacking me in the face really.
You never know when your last family feud is your last. Or when your midnight McD drive throughs with your mom would be the very last time too. I want to work extremely extremely hard this year to improve every part of myself and be the kind of person my mom can proudly say is hers.
I'm sorry this post isnt as fun as most new years resolutions are! I've neglected this blog long enough so why not start with the generic first-post-of-the-year-type post!
Well by this I mean the resolutions part, not the emo part.

Anyways,
Although I am obviously 2 months late, I truly hope all of you have a wonderful amazing fantastic life changing new year, and cheers to a brand new us!

   

Till then x
MM

HOWTH FEAT NADIA

Nadia's in Dublin!!!!!!!
Quite surreal to me because it happened at (relatively) the last minute and yeah she's here!!! It's her 2nd day in Dubs and I decided to bring her to the outskirts of Dublin to enjoy the harbour side and some seafood!
We shared a seafood platter which was so so good it's insane. Basically they had everything (calamari, cod fish, crab cake) fried with luvv. We then walked at the pier, took some photos (surprise surprise) and we saw a seal! It disappeared after 10 seconds though..

But here's a photo of Nadia with the creepy skeleton scuba diver at the pier.



"Marissa in a photo = awkward"


We then went back to the city for tea at a cute little quaint coffee shop with the best desserts ever. I may have exaggerated. But that was how I felt at the time. I ordered this Sicilian dessert which was basically cream cheese, cinnamon, pistachios, chocolate chips and biscotti and it was soo heavenly. Definitely coming back soon. The place is called Sweet Sicily, just incase you're ever around and curious to try it out. Or whatever haha Just take my word for it you guys.
Afterwards, we went to Georges Archade, which is a marketplace for vintage antiques, clothes and quirky house decor. Found a new store that sells these really cool candles where you can choose your favourite scents and mix them. super cool and super brilliant! Especially if you want your room smelling a little different and more you I guess. Since it's more personalised? Super cheap too! it was €4.50 for 8 pieces! (Y) x2
 
Anyways, that's all from me for now. Tomorrow we're headed to Wicklow for some greenery sightseeing! Totally siked. Let's just hope the weather's on our side. For once.

Till then xx
MM

DONE

So I am finally done with exams. This is the exact same line I used in all my social medias, and I just thought, why not use it here too. Just because I'm boring with words. Just kidding I'm a big ball of fun-nessness. Just kidding.


Anyways it's been 2 days since I've been done with finals and IT FEELS AMAZING. Exam week, as we all know is hell. and my papers have been back to back to back and no matter how much sleep i get, I still feel so sleep deprived. Heck my eyes are still swollen and watery. But I have so many things planned out in the summer, it's keeping me occupied and, stopping me from sleeping the day away. For starters, I started a street style project with my girl Nadia and we didn't really continue it because we both got busy and the commitment wasn't there.  But I have some ideas to get it going and I'm really really positive about it this time 'round. But that'll be once I get home, so prior to THAT, I've planned some fun things for myself such as voluntary projects here and there, (very light stuff nothing big honestly, didn't start applications early unfortunately /: ) and guys. I'm going somewhere I've been wanting to go since forever and ever. It's a pretty clichéd place for a girl to wanna go to but it's been a dream of mine. It's the birth place of men's clothing becoming a woman's. I'm slowly making the destination obvious for y'all. So yea I'm mega excited and I'm going with some of the most important people in my life. Chehh wink wink 

So many more things to look forward to, even my baju raya!! My dad chose the materials for me which is super cute, because he's never really been interested in going baju raya shopping. But this time he says it's 'cause he misses me. so he decided to tag along with mom to find my raya fabrics. hahaha Long story short, I was very very impressed x) Sent drawings and pictures to my mom so I'm pretty anxious and excited to see how they turn out!
As for personal shopping, if you know me well enough then you should be impressed to hear that I have not done any. In a while. Of course it's because of exams but I'm also trying to save up for my trip. My mom has this thing where she brings the most minimum amount of clothes when she goes travelling, so she could just wear the stuff she buys on the trip. Totally economical in terms of baggage weight , at the same time you get to wear new stuff on your holiday! win-win. BTW mom does this on a shopping trip only k, she wouldn't not pack clothes when it's like a hiking trip or something you frealls rn

So that's all for now, I'm hoping to blog a little more because I have time now. haha! and I'm gonna start selling my clothes online again, but this will be for Ireland/UK only because of this really cool selling app I found hahaha. Updates soon. I'll carousel my clothes in Malaysia maybe, since it's such a big thing now.

Till then!
xx
MM

TAKE CARE O' U

One of my biggest problems, with myself is that I expect too much. I expect people to do the same for me, the things I wouldn't even think twice about doing for them. The little acts of sacrifice of study time, or TV series time, walking for hours to get to their event, watching something that totally disinterests you but of course the other loves, or whatever. The worst is that I know I'd do it for the people closest to me and what's sad is that I do realise it.
I realise that most people have their heads screwed on right.
It's right & absolutely absolutely rational that you are selfish for yourself. It's so hard for me to accept it because I trust and rely on people so much it frightens me. I'm willing to look out for the wants/needs of others' and disregard my own every time (totally not trying to sound like I'm Mother Theresa at all, it's just that I get so overboard it's unhealthy).

When reality is that I should be selfish. I should say no to people if I have work, even if I tell myself I can always do it some other time, and I should just go to sleep when it's late or when, well I need the sleep! And ignore that little voice that says "it's aite, s/he needs you, an hour more, s/he'd do the same for you, you good it's all good".

No matter what it is, I think sometimes you just have to be selfish for yourself because in the end of the day your friends are not the ones carrying your overdue work or your lack of sleep on their shoulders. You're the one sitting for your finals and you're the one messing up.
So, it's okay to love but sometimes it's best to love you more.
I shall now quote a line between Kit and Vivian in Pretty Woman haha

"Take care of you" x

Till then
MM

NEW YEAR PURCHASES

Is it really March already?????? Can't believe how fast everything's moving! Easter break is here, in April I'll be sitting for my finals before I move on to THIRD YEAR OF MED SCHOOL,  then in May I'll be back home! My life hasn't been crazy exciting but at least I can safely say that I'm not as bored and depressed as I was in first year?

Guys, when people tell you 'time will tell', it's not sht. It's true. Took me a while to love it here, and (above all) find people I can be my utmost self with. So yea, take your time in everything. Patience is a virtue, good things come to those who wait (at the same time werq pls don't just expect magic beans), and all that jazzzz. Well, workload is still crazy heavy but it's all good. The good stuff isn't always easy anyways kan, so give and take.

Easter break I have decided not to travel to save money. Yes, I have decided to catch up on some work, maybe go around Ireland or something. Bottom line, not going anywhere or doing anything fancy so I can buy the new Monki Spring coat. Kidding! or not

While we're technically on the subject of money, I'd like to share with you some of the things I got in the month of February and January. Not even gonna call them my faves because I hardly bought anything (of which I am so proud of) so they're hardly favourites. But I'm loving them so far. So YAS 


1. Origins Make a Difference Plus+ Rejuvenating Treatment (night time moisturiser)

My skin has been crazy dry over the winter, & I get breakouts too. Every time I put on makeup it just looks cakey and basically unhealthy. I've been using Origins for a year now and (thank you Hanis Rafar) I SWEAR BY IT. Its made of natural ingredients and my sensitive skin has been appreciating it like nothing else. As for this particular one, I use it at night to replenish the moisture and I always wake up with the best feeling on my skin. I was using the Night a Mins and it is also so very good, but it doesn't really moisturise my skin as well. So I only use it on weekends when I'm heavily snacking and not really sleeping well. To those of you with oily or not so dry skin, nightamins is magic. Make a difference makes my cheeks babeyh soft. (more or less). Touch wood, my breakouts are also kept to a minimum so yes origins, u did good.

2. Chanel's Perfection Lumiére Foundation

Choosing the perfect foundation to me is the biggest deal. Took me years to find one that's durable, not oily, not dry (because lucky me for my extreme combo skin-sarcasm), blends smoothly over my daily moisturiser, and most importantly NOT CLOG UP PORES. This is my saviour. Takes me forever to finish one bottle too because you really don't need too much. The coverage is also ace!! So girls/guys with mild to moderate sensitive skin, trust me on this x

3. Topshop Highlighter (horizon)

I have never used highlighters ever in my life because well, my skin is already oily as it is, didn't need it looking extra shiny. But I bought a baked blusher from e.l.f & since baked blushers have that shimmery highlighter effect going on, I actually like how it looked. So I thought, why not get one but something that's not too high end cz I was still experimenting. But I gotta say, Horizon's pretty ace. Obviously I don't have too many to compare it with but if you wanna start, I say green light on this one :). Glowy and nice and not too shimmery like you campak glitter like that.

3. Maybelline goodies: Instant anti-age the Eraser Eye & Lip Liners

The only things I've gotten from Maybelline are their BB Creams and they're gold! But I've been recently seeing the under eye concealers in a lot of beauty reviews, plus I have quite prominent dark circles under my eyes. So I thought I'd give it a go, and it's been fantastic! It doesn't form those annoying clumps after a long day and there are not too many shades to choose from, and it still blends perfectly. (y)

As for the liners, I wanted a nude one because I lost my MAC (soar) one and I didn't wanna spend too much money. So this particular one is the Colour Drama range in the colour Nude Perfection.Only used it a few times but it glides like velvet. Well it is called intense velvet. Love it! Got another one in the colour Keep it Classy and it's suuuucha beauty. Love it 2

4. Charlotte Tillbury's Matte Revolution (Shade: Amazing Grace)

Been saving up for my first Tillbz lipstick for a while now and I finally got it. And guys. It has.been.magical. Let me tell you this, the texture gives you the soft buttery feeling on your lips & not to mention, the beautiful beautiful beautiful colour. I've never been so in love with a shade of pink lipstick before, & plus it's matte? I have the driest lips, especially post-winter and this one does not dry up my lips at all. It's the most modest, sweet, warm, minimalist shade of pink and I would use it everyday if I could. 

5. MUJI scented candles in Black Olive and Jasmine

Makes your room smell like a spa in Bali. full stop

6. Bobbi Brown's Cleansing Oil

I've been using this one since forever and I have and will continue to love it forever. Doesn't dry up/irritate your skin and cleans your makeup like nothing else. It's in the list because I just restocked mine hehe

7. Real Techniques Face Brushes

Guys. This is the real deal. I cannot begin to tell you how long I've waited for a set of the face brushes especially the buffing brush. Don't think you can buy it separately so that's why I've been putting it off. The set was quite steep in price but I caved because I saved. Honestly, if you've got uneven skin tone maybe due to scars or some acne bumps here and there, it'll help you apply your foundation like an airbrush. Seriously though, it's so soft and fluffy and allows for flawless blending (y)

*Sorry about the brushes not being clean, it was midweek 

So that is all for now, if you're on a break, have a lovely spring break. If you're not, hang in there, the best things are always the hardest to achieve. *Q cheesy theme song.  But if you're somewhere warm,  so jealous of you, and your t-shirt & shorts. Damn you.

Till then xx

MM

AMAL AZMAN

Where do I start with Amal Azman?
We met in KYUEM in 2011 and although I can vaguely remember our first conversation or our first encounter, I can remember exactly how intrigued I was with this girl who spoke quite a lot, laughed quite a lot and had quite a lovely accent. haha! Yes Mals that was my first impression of you. You had quite the lavly accent.

We had general studies together and I have to admit, was a tonne of fun because of you. And Puan Halijah but mostly you; KY was far from home (for people such as myself who've never lived away from home at least) and I never knew many people when I came to college. It's safe to say that you were one of the first and very few people I could fully be my off-key and pelik self with. All through a couple of blocks of general studies a week and I was smitten by how fun, easy, smart and lovely you are. AND that was also when I found out that you were THREE YEARS YOUNGER than the rest of us! Took me a while to digest it, honestly, because I wouldn't have imagined in a million years that I would meet someone as good and sincere of a friend as you have been to me and to everyone you've met. You truly are a magical bunny that sprinkles gold magical gummy bear insides to the world with such grace and beauty and love and everyone around you is lucky to have you in their lives.
I can only do so much to show you how blessed and grateful I am to have an amigo who makes me feel like awkward and goofy and weird are the best traits anyone could ever possess and should embrace. So thank you Amal for making keli night one of the best nights  in college, for joining me make unta faces instead of questioning it (sumpah u the absolute bomb for that), for sharing the same weird interest in the weirdest youtube videos- which peculiarly amused us for weeks, (linked some of them below just because. hahahhahaha)

1. Panda commercial 
2. Benny Lava
3. Geli Mat
4. Pukui sana pukui sini

..for teaching me the cup song 1846729437862 times just because I'm the slowest learner in the world, for always being patient with me through everything- especially this one time where you, Azam and I got lost on some random highway x) , for always being so understanding and sweet through the times I've hurt you-unintentionally of course!!!!! , for organising the bashing I got on my birthday 1st semester of college, and for just being you. Can't tell you how much I miss living just 5 minutes' walk away from you and seeing you every night in the dining hall. But I know one day we'll be sippin coffee and eating our (finally perfected) apple pie at a holiday retreat in the Bahamas, feeling completely content once we've chased and lived our dreams.

I wish for an eternal amount of happiness and love and an infinite supply of bunnies for you because you obsess wiz bunniez & because you deserve nothing less. I love you so very much and whether you like it or not, this friendship's for life.

Happy Birthday Amal my guilty jug, my loony bun, my benny lava.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
MM

SNOOZE

I find myself feeling lazy and sleepy all the time. With 2 tests this week, 2 assignments due in a couple of days, and finals coming up in less then a month, I'm not even anxious or nervous or whatever. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. Maybe it's the lack of new clothes. Ignore the last one.
I just hope I snap out of this shitty phase and get my shit together asap


MM

POPPY SEEDS

The worst feeling for me, is uncertainty. Not knowing whether or not a $100 fitted jacket I found online would fit me, or that annoying feeling of being unsure of the dessert I ordered, because never have I ever been used to the idea of ordering another one.
Yep it sucks that you're not allowed by nature to ever be sure of what you're going to be up against. But that's what makes things pretty amazing too. If you knew how things would turn out, say if they didn't turn out the way you wanted it too, you never would've experienced the good stuff that came along with it. The beautiful and unforgettable stuff that makes it all worth while.
So you just gotta do it.
If you want that lemon cake with poppy seeds, you get that lemon cake with poppy seeds. And if you want that jacket, you get that damned jacket. Because what if it fits? If it doesn't well that sucks but you could sell it off (for the pure enjoyment of giving) and some cool chick w the same taste could share the luv of an awesome jacket for less and you both win. Or if you wanna ask that cutie in class who always comes in late for class but is always early for tutorials. GO AND DO IT.

Because honestly I miss being in love.  I miss worrying about what another thinks of how I dressed, how my hair looked, and I miss having a reason to feel anxious and excited and scared and nervous and happy all at the same time. Bluegh sorry I shall cringe 4u. But that's just it though, I want it. I want the cheesiness of it all, and I can't help but hate myself for it. I hate feeling like I need someone to be happy. Because I don't. I am more than capable of taking care of myself.  But I can't help but feel like I'm falling behind. Like I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, not bold or smart or cool enough to deserve a majestic, epic, love story.
I find myself dwelling in the past and it sucks. No one's turning back for me or for anyone.

To all my people out there who feel like you're a lost cause, suck it up. Scream into a pillow, fix your shirt, fix your hair, have a glass of orange juice to freshen up your dying soul and move on. We need to find the ultimate majestic most absolute best version of ourselves and believe that this uncertainty will finally lead us to somewhere beautiful. Or at least somewhere with a nice piece of lemon cake with poppy seeds. We can pull through. We'll just have to.

MM

YOUTH

"And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone."

MORNING BLUES

Mornings are so numb to me. In my mind I'm imagining the idea of a busy busy day and when I actually get out of bed, I don't really feel the need to do anything. It's like I eventually get lazy to participate in ... well life. People like Cameron Diaz in the Charlie's Angels (y'know, one of the first scenes where she wakes up dancing in her undies) make it seem so easy to have a happy early day. Well my mornings are obviously not choreographed by Fred Astaire. I wake up in my retainers and kaftan and the biggest masam face, wondering how my cat entered my room.

So this morning I've decided to kick it slow (surprise, surprise)with some Nina Simone, a cup of hot tea and my laptop to sum up my trip to Terengganu in pictures.

This post was written this morning but I have taken my time with breakfast and lunch, hence the almost evening posting. (Y)




Till next time xxx